Nothing to do with flowers
How many times have you heard the phrase "If you didn't laugh, you'd cry"? Or maybe "Laughter is the best medicine"? Mankind has an amazing ability to find humour in the face of adversity. Some would tell you that this is a psychological defense mechanism. Others will say it's just that Man is a sick puppy. Whichever way you look at it, there's no denying that following many natural disasters, terrible accidents, acts of mass destruction or evil etc. there appear jokes about the subject. This page is a collection of those that I can recall, and those which have been submitted by others. Where clarification or further explanation might help those not familiar with an event, or language, I have included footnotes. These are indicated in square brackets [].
Note: you may find some of these jokes sickening or in bad taste. Please do not read them if you are likely to be offended by laughing at loss of life etc.
If you would like to submit a joke, corrections to, or extra information for the backgrounds, please use the submission form.
- On the loss of the space shuttle, Challenger, in 198?
- On the capsizing of the Herald of Free Enterprise in 198?
- On the explosion of an aircraft over Lockerbie, Scotland in 19??
- On the fire on the Piper Alpha oil rig in 19??
- On the shootings in Hungerford by Michael Ryan in 198?
- On the death of Diana, Princess of Wales in 1997
| On the loss of the Space Shuttle |
Background
In 1987 (?), the space shuttle Challenger launched from [somewhere]. As mission control
and the eyes of the world looked on, the shuttle exploded, claiming the lives of the
seven astronauts on board. In a world-class feat of understatement, this was described
as " a major malfunction".
_______
Q. What does NASA stand for?
A. Need Another Seven Astronauts
Q. What were the last words on the space shuttle?
A1. What's this button do?
A2. Don't let her drive. [1]
A3. Watch this!
Q. Why do NASA drink Coke?
A. Because they can't get 7-Up.
Q. How can you tell that [name of a shuttle astronaut] had blue eyes?
A. One blew this way, and one blew that way.
Q: How deep is the water round Cape Canaveral?
A: About 14 feet
Q: Where do astronauts go on holiday?
A: All over Florida
| On the capsizing of the Herald of Free Enterprise |
Background
In 198?, the Townsend Toresson ferry, The Herald of Free Enterprise took
on water and capsized, claiming the lives of ??? people. The blame was placed at
the feet of the loading doors, I think.
_______
I hear that Townsend Toresson are doing well. They had their biggest turnover in years.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Forty thousand tonnes of water.
| On the explosion of an aircraft over Lockerbie, Scotland |
Background
In 198? or 9? an aircraft exploded above Lockerbie in Scotland. Amongst the passengers
were said to be members of the American secret service (?).
_______
Q. Where do CIA agents go on holiday?
A. All over Lockerbie.
Lockerbie resident to his wife; "I told you not the leave the landing lights on!"
| On the fire on the Piper Alpha oil rig |
Background
In 19?? the Piper Alpha oil rig went up in flames.
_______
Q. What's got four legs, and goes "woof"?
A. Piper Alpha
Q. Where do oil rig workers go on holiday?
A. Burnham-on-Sea.
| On the shootings in Hungerford by Michael Ryan |
Background
In 198?, Michael Ryan went on a shooting spree in the English town of Hungerford.
He killed ? people.
_______
Q. What was the last thing Michael Ryan's mother said to him?
A. Michael, dear, shoot up the town and get us some bread. [2]
| On the death of Diana, Princess of Wales |
Background
In 1997, Diana, Princess of Wales was involved in a car accident. The
Mercedes car in which she was travelling hit a pillar while speeding through
a Paris tunnel. Diana, and two other passengers died as a result of the
crash.
_______
I heard Princess Di was on the radio the other day. And the dashboard, and the roof, and the carpet...
Q. Why did Diana drive a Mercedes?
A. Because she wouldn't be seen dead in a BMW.
Q: What do Diana and Hugh Grant have in common?
A: They both bought it in the back of a car
Q: What was the last thing Dodi said to Diana?
A: Do you want to go home or crash here tonight
Q: What did Dodi say to the new chauffeur
A: Do you want to drive for me and Di tonight?
Footnotes
[1] One of the astronauts was a woman. [back]
[2] Where "shoot up" means about the same as
"go to", and is nothing to do with drug-taking. [back]
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